Laugh. And Laugh. and LAUGH.

Oh. My. Goodness.

This is a comedy routine about me. Really.

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Enjoy this clip!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z03lwK8NaBQ&feature=player_embedded

FILTH

9:30 p.m. Time to clean the kitchen. Mystery Man just finished putting some dishes in the dishwasher. Thank goodness. But now he's in bed with a sore throat.

Can I motivate myself?

Dirty. Grimey. Messy. Sticky. Overwhelming.

5 days worth of homework papers, field trip forms, & bills piled in one spot. 3 lunch boxes; 2 of them stink like sour milk.

Jane's toys and about 3 teething biscuits she chewed for a while and dropped on the floor.

An empty bag of chips. The crumbs from the chip bag are spread down the length of the table. And on the floor under the table.

The main counter's contents: A half-filled bowl of yogurt. Grapes. An apple with 3 bites out of it. 4 empty glasses. Bean dip. Wrappers. Bag of animal crackers. Shoes. A backpack. A bag with sunscreen in it (from playgroup earlier today). Cell phone. Jane's diaper. Receipts from the grocery store. Cereal box. Gallon of milk (quarter full).

Ooh, a happy thing: A sack full of rhubarb, asparagus, spinach, and chives from our fantastic neighbor's fantastic garden.

Sink: 2 frying pans, 1 big pot, pitcher, 9 Ikea cups, 11 Ikea bowls, 20 pieces of silverware, 7 plates, lots of food scraps (eww, and we don't have a garbage disposal). 2 cookies sheets. 2 spatulas. Etc.

Dish rack: empty.

My feet are sticking to the floor. Again. Oh, right. Lemonade. Gotta tell Azael to stop making lemonade. The first batch from Sunday (yes, that's 3 days ago) is still a sticky mess on the floor. Well, not really sticky anymore, since so much dirty grime has stuck to the lemonade spill. Now it's just a dirty spot. Or area.

Where is that smell coming from... Oh, Lorelai left a wet towel in the drawer again. About a week ago, judging from that mildew smell.

I sort the piles of papers. Sign field trip forms for each child. Write all the events on the calendar. Return the forms to the appropriate backpacks.

10:50. Seriously! I vow to not let the paper pile get so out of control again.

Clear the main counter. Wipe the counters and table. Spray with 409 because I realize I've never really sanitized the counters since we moved in. Nice. Clean the stove top. Wipe the cabinet handles. Those also haven't been cleaned since we moved in. Double nice.

Wash the dishes. Put away the produce from my favorite neighbor. Happiness. Dream a moment of the garden we'll have one day.

Take the appropriate items to the van so we won't be late for school in the morning. Like we were every single day so far this week.

Empty the trash can and recycling bin. Marvel at the fact that there's a dingy sock underneath the kitchen cabinet. I wonder where its match is.

11:30 Begin sweeping. Laugh. Laugh some more. Oh. My. Goodness. I remember my best friend from high school (Kristin) making fun of her aunt's house because if a child dropped a pancake on the floor, they would just leave it there. I wonder what Kristin would think of my kitchen right now... I laugh again.

This is what my sweeping pile looks like. It may look horrible, but I promise the majority of that pile is chips. And teething biscuits. See the grimey spots all around the counter? That's the lemonade spill. It goes all the way around.

11:40 Mop the floor. Laugh again. Turn out the light.

Did I seriously just spend 2.5 hours cleaning my kitchen?

Something's gotta give.

In Zimbabwe it is socially unacceptable NOT to hire servants. People need jobs, after all. If only servants were just as cheap here...

OK, time for bed.

11:57 Nevermind bed. I'll just do some blogging. Who needs sleep?

That's a BIG fish

My brother Josh and his very nice girlfriend Erika visited us this past weekend. We enjoyed fondue together, played Wii, and talked. The kids loved Erika! I did too!

Josh, aka 'Wayne,' will soon open and manage a Bar & Grill in Des Moines called Mullet's. When he pulled into our driveway, he had a BIG fish in the truck. It's a mullet - for Mullet's. Pretty sweet.

Here we are admiring and posing with the fish before leaving for church on Sunday:

Speaking of fish: Erika is quite the catch, little brother!

Ephraim, The Naturalist

One afternoon after school, I decided to run to the store and pick up some annuals for our flower pots. While we checked out with our plants, Ephraim asked the cashier, "Do you have Jack-in-the-Pulpit?" They didn't. But the cashier and another woman in line behind us were very impressed. The woman said, "Most adults don't know that plant, let alone a little boy!"

A week later I accompanied Ephraim on a field trip to a nature preserve here in town and discovered his knowledge of woodland plants is even more impressive than I knew. While we walked around the park, Ephraim and his several of his classmates were able - ON THEIR OWN, MIND YOU! - to identify the following (and even more I can't remember):

Mayapple

Bluebells

Bloodroot

Shooting Star

Trillium

Wild Ginger

Wild Geranium

Goldenseal

I thanked the teacher profusely and inwardly vowed to plant some or all of these plants in our woods.... as soon as I kill all the invasive garlic mustard plants that have taken over.

Ephraim and some classmates checking out a cool tree.

Ephraim and best friend, Tanner

Random Photos

Mystery Man reading to Silas & Ephraim (notice the bandaid on Ephraim's nose-he didn't have a "real" injury but he said it hurt, so a bandaid always makes things feel better).

Lorelai has a tantrum... But she has such a cute outfit on that I couldn't get upset with her.

And here is a not-so-cute outfit. This is a dress I wore 30 years ago as a child. I suppose Lorelai's own daughter might be wearing this dress one day. Time flies...!

Indestructible Silas

Silas is very, very accident prone. He falls off his chair at the dinner table every week, then jumps up and says "I'm OK!" He likes to touch, hug, and wrestle with his brothers and usually ends up getting hurt. He's had many bumps and stitches. After a particularly nasty fall 2 months ago, he bit both the top and bottom lips very very badly, and he injured his upper gums. The gums healed, but there was a tiny white dot on the gums above one of the front teeth that never went away. At a dentist appointment recently, the doctor said the dot is an infection at the root of that tooth, possibly caused by the lip & gum injury and the tooth would need to be extracted. Silas went to the dentist chair alone (he asked that I stay in the front with Lorelai and Jane) and according to the nurse and dentist, he was incredibly nonchalant about the whole thing. He said the needle was like a mosquito prick and he felt nothing more. He acted like it was a regular day at the beach! The tooth fairy brought him $3 so he was really excited! Here he is sporting a toothless grin (and, incidentally, a blue M&M costume). Pretty cute!

Bear Scout

Azael is now a BEAR Scout! Here he is in his new uniform.

Congrats buddy!